When it comes to blended family drama, our Reddit-reading staffers have been around the block several (read: many) times.
Recently there was an upsetting story on the “Am I The A—hole? (AITA)” subreddit about a young boy who was diagnosed with stage 3 lymphoma. He needed a bone marrow transplant, and his stepmom — the woman who originally posted (or the “OP”) — was a match. Here’s where things went off-script. You would think the problem was that OP wouldn’t donate. Nope. She donated (because she’s not “some kind of witch”) and her stepson is now in remission! But now, the ex-wife — who never liked OP — is mad that OP won’t be her BFF. It’s just so bonkers and unnecessary. (Read the whole thing HERE.)
Then there was the stepmom who more than 3.6K Redditors went after because she didn’t want to take her stepson on vacation. “Just once I want to spend MY money going on vacation where I’m not looking after someone else’s kid.” Is your blood boiling? Well just wait until you hear why that OP’s mom thinks her plan is wrong.
And so what’s the latest stepmom drama, you ask? A woman on Reddit wants to know, “AITAH for refusing to let my stepson borrow my $3000 guitar for school and ruining his freshman year?”
The Family Situation
OP and her husband — who has a son from a previous marriage — have been married for three years.
“The boy’s mother can’t stand me,” OP said. “She hates the fact that their father has found someone after five years of being divorced. Because of that, my stepson Jack and I don’t have the best relationship.”
Trying Her Best
OP’s stepson reportedly won’t speak to her when she tries to have a conversation, so now she “doesn’t even bother.”
“I have offered to do things for him but his mother always says that she doesn’t want ‘that woman’ involved,” OP said. “To keep the peace, I stay out.”
Their One Connection
There is one thing that the two can bond over, though. Jack and OP are both musicians. The teen just started high school and joined the band. “Naturally,” he wants to play jazz guitar.
“I play several brass and wind instruments as well as guitar,” OP said. “…His mother knows I have several instruments and I offered one of the lesser-value guitars to him.”
Not Good Enough
Apparently, those “lesser-value” guitars won’t cut it, and Jack and his mom want OP’s 1963 Fender.
“Absolutely NOT!! For one, he doesn’t take care of anything he has, and number two, why am I going to loan something that valuable out to someone who does not want to be around me? Sure, the guitar is worth way more but I got a deal on it for $3k.”
“My husband says I am absolutely right for not doing it and he says I shouldn’t even offer the old Squire guitar either and it’s only $250,” OP continued.
The Ex-Wife’s Reaction
Well, Jack’s mom is not cool with this. She’s been blowing up her ex-husband and OP’s phone and has her friends “harassing” OP on Facebook.
“[She has been] calling me every name in the book because I am ‘driving a wedge in his and his father’s relationship.'” OP said. “How is that so? She says that I should try and make amends and let him borrow it for the school year.”
“Why am I having to make amends?” she continued. “She claims I ruined his freshman year for band and I need to make it right.”
So who is OP the a—hole here?
Reddit’s Reaction
This post got more than 3.4K upvotes and 1.2K comments, the majority of which said OP is not the a—hole (NTA).
“NTA. 100% mom wants to steal that guitar, sell it, then try to say the kid lost it and make you feel bad if you try to get reimbursed,” said the top comment with 6.4K upvotes. “I don’t know why she would push so hard for this otherwise.”
“OP better lock that guitar and any other instruments away. I can see the kid going and destroying it all out of spite,” read one with 3.1K upvotes.
“Even if that was the instrument my kid learned on and played at home, no way am I allowing that kid to take something that valuable to school, way too high of a risk of an accident, even with a kid that takes good care of his things. Unless you live in a crazy rich school district and all kids have top-of-the-line equipment but him, how exactly did this ruin his band experience?”
“Honestly, you should block the toxic ex and have all her communications go through your husband. This is his mess to deal with. It also sounds like he needs to do a better job of grounding his son in reality, not to mention how to be a decent human being, no matter what your feelings toward others might be.”
“Even if you could trust him to take care of it, you can’t trust the rest of the students to not damage it. Learning on a cheaper guitar is fine. Might even help him better appreciate the higher quality ones later if he sticks with it.”
“The only person driving a wedge between father and son is the son’s mother. She sounds like an awful entitled old boot.”
“‘I just started guitar, can I have your collector’s item 1963 Fender?’ is about as ludicrously tone deaf (did you see what I did there?) as saying ‘I just learned to drive, can I borrow your Ferrari Testarossa?'”
Well, if OP won’t budge, Jack’s mother now has a new proposal.
What About This?
OP gave an update in the comments saying that the ex-wife now wants to know if she could buy the guitar for $1.5K.
“I explained to her that it’s NOT FOR SALE,” OP said. “She thinks I am just ‘picking on her son because I’m jealous that she has a kid with my husband and I don’t.'”
Reddit had a field day with that suggestion!
“If the mom has $1500 to spare for a guitar, then she can go down to Guitar Center and buy her son the Player series Fender of his choice with a case. They’re after your vintage guitar because they can deprive you of something that has a lot of value to you.”
“With $1500, you can buy a damn nice guitar. Or a great guitar and a decent amp. Or a great amp and an ok guitar. Your options with that kind of cash are huge.”
“My bet is that she doesn’t have that money and knew the answer was no. It just feeds into her narrative that OP is a big meanie.”
Abso-freakin-lutely! And so Reddit is begging OP to not back down on this one.
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