Even a Grammy-winning musician can’t escape one of the hardest parts of motherhood: experiencing mom guilt. Nicki Minaj, who is a mother of one with husband Kenny Petty, opened up in a new interview for the December 2023 issue of Vogue, about the anxiety and guilt she has felt as a mom to a baby boy, born in September 2020.
On Anxiety in Motherhood
Minaj poses with the little boy, who she lovingly refers to as “Papa Bear” (his real name has never been disclosed), in one amazing picture for Vogue. In it, the “Barbie World” singer is dressed in an oversized pink Vetements jacket that matches her nails. She hugs her sleeping son, dressed in Gucci, for the photo, and she looks fierce and protective. But despite the powerful photo, she has struggled just like the rest of us.
The rapper recalled how parenthood put a strain on her relationship with Petty. “I’m not going to lie, things got testy between us,” she said. “Because of our history, I think we knew we’d get past it. But there’s no such thing as confidence in parenthood.” She went on, “I kind of wish that someone had told me — although I’m sure I wouldn’t have been able to understand it — that there’s a level of anxiety, and you think it’s going to go away, but in fact it gets scarier. So often you think: I don’t know how to do this!”
That is so true! I have felt like that countless times as a mom and my friends have too. It’s overwhelming and no one prepares you for the anxiety, fear, and unpreparedness that you will feel when bringing a new baby home. Talking about it is one way for moms to connect and feel like they aren’t alone, so good on Minaj for being vulnerable about this sensitive topic!
On Mom Guilt
In the interview, Minaj also shared that she always felt like she would quit music when she became a mom. “I think that deep down inside, I believed that once I had a family, I would just lose the desire to make music,” she told Vogue. “I would always tell people, ‘Watch, when I have a child I’m going to cook every meal for him and bake cookies every day.’”
“Maybe subconsciously I hoped my focus would just be on being a mother, and I looked forward to that idea. It felt like a relief,” she added. “But what happens is that you find out you have to work.”
She also told a story about meeting a woman who was a proud homemaker, until she realized she wanted to do something for herself. Vogue reported about this woman: “She started to feel guilty about not working, and, defying a chorus of skeptics, she put herself through nursing school. And then, as a nurse, she started to feel guilty for working, for missing precious moments in her children’s lives.”
Minaj reacted in shock. “I was like, OMFG. She felt guilt when she was doing the perfect homemaker thing, and guilt as a working mom when she missed a moment in their lives. Maybe God let that lady say that to me because it made me think, Well, if I’m going to have mom guilt regardless, I might as well continue doing the only thing I know how to freaking do, which is make music.”
On Getting a Nanny
This isn’t the first time she’s opened up about anxiety and motherhood. In an Oct. 2022 interview with E! News, Minaj shared that it feels like her “heart is being ripped out” anytime she’s away from her son. And despite her “fear and anxiety,” she doesn’t want to hire a nanny to help.
“I’m a Trinidadian woman. Culturally, we’re not really used to nannies and strangers taking care of the babies,” she told the outlet. “It’s not a bad thing when moms do it. It’s just that I have to get conditioned. I have to get it out of my mind that it’s a weird thing, because there are tons of celebrities that are doing it and they’re raising amazing children.”
Minaj went on, “I think moms feel like they have to be perfect. I hate that I have more anxiety now because you’re like, ‘What if the one time I leave my child, I get that phone call?’”
The stress is real, but Minaj seems to be doing a great job.
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