How and why is it that kids’ birthday parties bring out the worst in people? Both kids and adults. Sure, we’ve all seen a batsh*t bonkers episode of My Super Sweet Sixteen where an entitled teenager goes off the rails about the color of her new Range Rover. But somehow we keep finding full-grown parents who are stirring up some major drama for a party for a child.
One of the wildest ones we’ve seen so far was from a woman who divorced her husband — with whom she had a 3-year-old and a baby on the way — because he had an affair with her mom. He and her mom then had a child and so we had to grab a pen and paper to draw a very confusing family tree. The woman posted on the “Am I The A—hole? (AITA)” subreddit when the baby was in 4th grade and they were planning her birthday party. Long story short (although you can read the whole thing HERE), the mom and ex-husband’s daughter didn’t get invited to the party, and things got messy.
Now, there’s a woman on Reddit whose son is the one who hasn’t been invited to a classmate’s birthday party, and she wants to know who’s to blame.
Who Is Involved?
The 28-year-old woman who originally posted (the “OP” as Reddit says) has 5-year-old twin boys, Jude and Jonah.
“Jude and Jonah are very well-mannered and reserved,” she said. “Obviously I’m biased but they’ve always gotten along with all of their peers and have never gotten into any drama.”
Jude and Jonah go to a private Jewish kindergarten, and she shared that Jude is a “slow reader.” She has gotten him a tutor, but he’s still having a hard time, she said.
There’s a little girl in the boys’ class whose birthday is coming up. Her mom Jess is planning it, and OP said that at this school, it’s “very customary” for the whole class to be invited to parties.
How Did This All Start?
A couple of weekends ago, OP and her family were at temple. It’s the same temple a lot of the families from the twins’ school go. Jude went to go to the bathroom, and there were no pictures on the doors. Just the words “Men” and “Women.”
“Jude walked into the women’s by accident and I guess the door wasn’t locked correctly because he walked in on [Jess],” OP said. “He says he just saw her on the toilet and ran out, closed the door, and said sorry.”
What Next?
Jude ran to his mom and told her he was very embarrassed.
“I told him it wasn’t a big deal and he should just remember to knock next time and the longer word says ‘women,'” OP said. “He said he would and that he thought it would be a stalled bathroom like most public bathrooms and that’s fair so I left it there.”
How Did Jess React?
Jess approached OP afterward and told her Jude needed to be punished and that what he did was “extremely inappropriate.”
“I assured her he didn’t know and wouldn’t do it again but she said there’s ‘no way he can’t read men and women’ and that her daughter can, and told me I had to nip this behavior in the bud,” OP said. “I often feel talked down to because of my age by other parents at the school so I just said I would take care of it and left it there.”
How Did This Continue?
That should’ve been the end of that, right? Nope. The saga continues — because let’s not forget that Jess’s daughter has a birthday coming up.
On Friday, the little girl was handing out invites and gave one to Jonah … but not Jude. His twin. YUP.
“They both asked her why and she said her mom said not to give him one and wouldn’t tell her why. Jude cried the whole rest of the day and wouldn’t tell anyone why because he didn’t want to be a tattle-tale.”
Can you believe that? Our hearts are aching for the little guy!
“I asked Jude if anything else had happened between the 2 of them and he promised me it didn’t and said they’ve even been playing together at recess this whole last week,” OP said. “And her daughter was trying to cheer him up by suggesting ways to sneak him in.”
What Should OP Do?
OP said she’s “honestly livid.” You’re probably thinking the same thing she is: It would be one thing if she didn’t give either twin an invite. But to invite one and not the other is “incredibly rude and passive-aggressive.”
“I’m considering calling her and talking about it because I think it’s ridiculous to hold this much of a grudge against a 5-year-old. Would that make me an AH? Should I just decline Jonah’s invite? I think the birthday rule is silly and it’s her choice who she invites but this is just ridiculous.”
What Does Reddit Think?
Redditors can’t believe Jess’ audacity. Why are you acting this way toward a 5-year-old, lady?
“I think the friend’s mom is being overly dramatic & petty about the whole situation … the bathroom incident was a simple mistake that could have happened to any kid in similar circumstances. The initial conversation with the mom where she said you have to punish your son seemed weird to me. Had the girl only been friends with one of your sons, maybe the party invite would have been more understandable. But here, it seems the girl is friends with both of your sons, and the party invite was just the mom being ultra-petty about the bathroom incident.”
“This kid is 5 it’s not like a teenager coming in and pointing and laughing like the kid ran away and said sorry wtf is wrong with this woman?”
“The real question is: why wasn’t the door locked?”
That unlocked a whole can of worms with everyone sharing their story of accidentally walking in on someone. Because it happens all the time, Jess!
“She is embarrassed and wants to blame the weak link, the child.”
“It could have been any adult walking into the bathroom since she didn’t lock the door. I’ve done that plenty of times and did exactly what the 5yo did, apologize and shut the door and wait my turn. Most people would forget about that interaction within minutes and she’s holding a grudge against a kid for her mistake. Insane behavior.”
“Grown woman doesn’t know how to lock a door yet complains that a 5-year-old can’t read the signs on the restroom door.”
“She’s making an accident by a 5yo into something perverted and sexual and that makes her the gross one.”
“She sounds like a stupid malicious bully.”
A stupid malicious bully who should plan for neither twin to show up to her daughter’s party … and who should learn how to lock the door. Sorry not sorry.
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