Step aside, Spotify! Reddit makes its own end-of-year recaps, and as avid followers of the “Am I The A—hole? (AITA?)” subreddit, we were so excited for that one to drop. In 2023, 57 million people visited the dumpster fire that is the AITA subreddit. That’s basically the population of the entire west coast. More than 904 million votes were cast regarding whether or not the person who originally posted (the “OP,” as Reddit says) was indeed the a—hole. And there were 18 million comments.
That’s a lot of opinions from a giant peanut gallery.
The most active countries were the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom. Apparently, those three are really drawn to drama.
And all of those stats are just for that one [very active] subreddit. You can find many more fascinating recaps across the social media site that was co-founded by Alexis Ohanian — aka Serena Williams’ husband.
Of course, it wouldn’t be a proper recap without featuring the top posts of the year. Reddit shared the top three AITA posts (that got the most engagement), and we’re so glad they did. On that list is a family vacation saga that you’ll want to buckle in for.
Last Year’s Vacation
The 23-year-old man who wrote this post started out by giving a rundown on last year’s family vacation. Time and again — vacation or otherwise — he gets stuck on babysitting duty.
Last year, he drove to the coast with his parents. They generously paid for his hotel room, but he had to share it with his three “rowdy” nephews since his sister and brother-in-law wanted their own room.
OP’s One Activity
OP was supposedly promised he’d have time to do his own things on vacation, but once again, he became the resident babysitter. When he complained, he was reminded he was on this vacation for free.
“We pretty much just did only one thing I wanted to do. Which was tour an art gallery,” he said.
This Year’s Plan
OP had no intention of having a repeat this year. He decided to drive himself there and pay for his own room.
“My parents were shocked and tried to remind me of the cost,” he said. “I said it was no worry. I’ve got a good job and a decent running car. I can more than afford it.”
The Start Of The Fighting
OP got a call from his sister who “blew up at him.” She said he would “ruin” the trip for her if he went off while she had to “wrangle” her kids.
“I ended up yelling at her that last year all she did was rope me into her mess…And I was treated like the bad guy for wanting to just go to an art gallery,” he said. “I’m a grown man. I deserve my own vacation too.”
And On It Goes
The sister then stopped talking to OP and his parents were trying to convince him to change his plans to “keep the peace.”
“I’m still refusing,” OP said, “But the pressure is getting to me.”
Now he wants to know, is he the AH for not “giving in?”
Hold Up!
Before we get to the comments, we have to address OP’s first of three edits. It came about an hour after he originally posted because his sister is “apparently a Reddit lurker in the mornings” and saw the post.
“Not only is she furious with me, but she’s also upset no one in the comments is siding with her,” OP said. “She went on a big rant about how it’s so hard to be a parent to triplets. And the least I could do is help because I’m young and single, and she needs a break.”
The Next Update
OP’s sister showed his parents the post and they were “absolutely horrified” by the “continuous influx of comments.”
“To make a long story short, the whole vacation has been canceled,” OP said.
Yikes! Luckily, the hotel wasn’t booked yet. Nevertheless, OP’s sister is blaming him and his nephews are crying because they aren’t going to the beach.
“My sister called me at lunch and basically implied I have no life, which is why I have time to help.”
The Final Update
OP said in his last update that his parents said they “won’t ever push babysitting” again and have agreed that what happened last year was “unfair.”
“My sister is playing the victim. And my brother-in-law is basically saying ‘Nope!’ to the whole mess and spending most of his time at work.”
Reddit’s Reaction
Talk about a ROLLER COASTER! Can you see why it made the top three? It has 45.8K upvotes, 7.2K comments, and 45.5K upvotes on the top comment.
It will come as no surprise (especially based on the edits) that Reddit was on OP’s side.
“That’s a laugh,” the top commenter said about OP’s sister saying he would ruin the vacation. “She’s admitting she’s ruining your vacation so as not to ruin her own! They’re her kids and her responsibility. NTA.”
“Yes. How dare you ruin my vacation when I should be ruining yours!”
“The parents could pay for the nanny with the money they saved from not paying for OP. Oh wait, that’s not a lot of money? Guess you really didn’t value your brother’s/son’s contributions. LMFAO”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m not getting. Last year they threw it up to him that he was there ‘for free’ but what did it actually cost them to bring him along? He rode in a car that was already going to the same destination, so there were no travel expenses for them to cover. There was a third hotel room, but they would have needed either a third room for the kids or a suite for sister’s family anyway…Doesn’t sound like anybody covered his food or activities. He was literally on that vacation for free in that it cost them nothing to bring him along.”
“Sounds like they truly aren’t appreciating all that OP has done for them and take him for granted…They look at OP as an afterthought…They completely took advantage of him and I’m proud of him for standing up and saying enough is enough. There’s no reason child minding can’t be shared between the parents and grandparents. It just takes some preplanning and negotiating. But they would rather just dump that all on OP and get to kick back the whole time.”
Perhaps saddest of all, “The fact that everyone sees spending time with the kids as ‘ruining their vacation’ is so sad. And kids pick up on this, making them more needy and ‘bratty’ because they are desperate for positive affection, continuing the cycle.”
Wondering what the other two posts in the top three were? Fear not. We have the TLDRs at the ready.
Dine & Dash
The No. 1 AITA post from 2023 came from a woman whose husband and in-laws expected her to pay for everyone’s dinner with some money she inherited after her mother passed away. The expectation that came to light during dinner made her “livid” so she silently paid for her own portion and got up to leave.
“They were shouting after me like a crowd and my husband tried to get me to come back but I drove home. He got back at 3 a.m yeling at me saying I was pathetic to get up and walk out after they relied on me to pay for their food…He said I humiliated him…He is mad and is saying that I caused a huge rift between his family and me.”
“So let me get this straight,” the top comment (with 65.8K upvotes) said. “Your mother died after an illness and the thing your in-laws take from this is, ‘Great, now she can pay for everything.’ Yeah, NTA.”
Bridesmaid Brawl
In the No. 2 AITA post of 2023, a bridesmaid refused to wear her forest green dress and went rogue, wearing a black dress the bride repeatedly told her she wasn’t allowed to wear.
“I told her please go back and change,” the bride wrote in her post. “She refused and started walking away from me. I said I’m going to ask her one more time, and if she doesn’t oblige I’m calling security and kicking her out. She began yelling at me to f*ck off, so I called security and asked them to please escort her out. She started making a BIG scene…Ever since the wedding Kat has been blowing up my phone saying some really nasty thing’s and asking for the money back she spent on the black dress since it was a waste and she didn’t get to wear it…Some of my other bridesmaids have been giving me shit saying that it was a little harsh kicking her out and embarrassing her like that.”
Reddit is firmly Team Bride on this one.
“She embarrassed herself,” said the top comment with 69.6K upvotes. “She agreed to wear the dress you picked out, and then deceitfully planned to change at the last moment in the hope that you’d just let her get away with it…Think of being in a wedding as like playing a part in a play…you wear the costume that the artistic director has picked out for bridesmaids to wear. If you don’t want to wear the costume, don’t be in the show. But you can’t just show up on opening night and say ‘I didn’t like your costume choices, so I’m going to wear the same costume as this other character instead'”
“It’s pretty ballsy to pull the crap she pulled and then want you to pay for the dress. Find new friends. It doesn’t sound like the other bridesmaids are worth your time either.”
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