A woman on Reddit took meddling mother-in-law to a whole new level — with her granddaughter as the target!
Teen Pregnancy
In Reddit’s popular “Am I The A—hole?” subreddit, a mom complained about her mother-in-law’s actions toward her pregnant 17-year-old daughter. The 34-year-old shares two daughters with her husband of 10 years, plus the teen daughter from a previous high school relationship. The 17-year-old is 7 months pregnant and saving money with her boyfriend. “I’ve already had the necessary talks with my daughter, but she is dead set on being a mother to this child,” the mom wrote.
These teens may be in for a rough ride becoming parents so early, but it sounds like they know the risks and they are willing to take them to be a family. But there is one person who is not happy about their decision — and she is making her feelings known!
Kicked Out
In the post, the OP shared that her mother-in-law has casually suggested that the 17-year-old should let her daughter (the OP’s sister-in-law) adopt her baby, as she has struggled with fertility and trying to conceive for the last 10 years. They’ve said no before — the pregnant teen has already made her wishes very clear! — so the MIL turned to manipulation tactics.
“The other day I came home from work and my mil was over, and I overheard her talking to my daughter about that idea,” the mom wrote. “Telling her how she wouldn’t be fit to be a mother and sil is much more prepared and how she wouldn’t want to repeat the cycle (bc I had her so young.)”
“She then pulled a guilt trip and told her how sil dream is for a child,” OP continued. “I simply opened the door and just said ‘get out.’ She stared at me in complete disbelief, then said I couldn’t kick her out of her sons house. I said, I can and I just did.”
The audacity of this woman! I completely feel for the sister-in-law who is struggling with infertility, but you can’t just bully someone else into giving up their baby. It’s not a present that can be re-gifted. And preying on a pregnant teen, who is probably overwhelmed and scared already, while her parents are out of the house is just pure evil. (Plus, why can’t the SIL adopt a different baby??)
The Comments
Redditors confirmed that this mama was NTA. “While I cannot imagine the tough journey your SIL is on as she navigates her fertility struggles, your daughter’s circumstance is not a patch job for your SIL’s situation,” one person commented. “There are tough conversations to be had when one is pregnant without planning it (regardless of age), but it was not your MIL’s place to have any of those conversations and she didn’t even approach it as a conversation: she was trying to manipulate your daughter emotionally.”
“NTA whatever your daughter decides, being told by a trusted adult that she wouldn’t be a fit mother, and that she should feel guilty for not giving SIL the child is utterly repugnant and gross,” someone else said. “You have spoken to your daughter. You have given her all the information and allowed her to have her choice. I’m sure you have not sugar-coated anything. YOu have done right by your daughter. You’re a good mom and your MIL sucks.”
Someone else noted how our country has given people the idea that they get a say in someone else’s pregnancy. “NTA where do people get the idea that a woman’s uterus is open for discussion? Oh right…. I remember now. Supreme Court,” they wrote. “It’s a pitiful state of affairs. I’m glad she has her mother supporting her decisions. I hope she’s just like you and doesn’t let anyone interfere in her or her child’s life.”
It sounds like being a teen mother or not does not determine how good your parenting (or grandparenting) skills are. In this case, we think the 17-year-old will be just fine!
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