There are so many kinds and categories of family drama on Reddit. There are situations that are deserving of endless eye rolls. The ones that make us tilt our heads and furrow our brows in confusion because how? There are the ones that make our blood boil. And then there are the ones that make us stop in our tracks and clench our fists as our jaws hit the floor because we forgot just how vile and ignorant people can be.
Today, we found some astounding family drama on the “AITAH” subreddit — the sister subreddit to the classic “Am I The A—hole? (AITA)” — that most definitely fell into that last category. A 27-year-old woman posted asking for advice and heard back from more than 20.5K Redditors (and counting!) who were just as shocked and infuriated as we were.
This woman who originally posted — or the “OP,” as Redditors say — said she’s been married to her husband for two years and gave birth to their daughter five weeks ago. And now she’s been put in a situation where she feels the need to ask the internet, “AITA for telling my husband ‘I told you so’ and laughing at me when we got the paternity test results?”
How It Started
When OP’s daughter was born, she had blonde hair and pale blue eyes (sort of like the sweet newborn above). Meanwhile, OP and her husband have brown hair and brown eyes. Now, anyone who has taken high school biology — or looked at the families around them — knows how recessive genes work, and the fact that parents with brown eyes can indeed have a baby with blue eyes.
“My husband freaked out at this and refused to listen to my explanation that, sometimes, babies are born with lighter hair and eyes that get darker over time,” she said.
And so…
OP’s husband “demanded” a paternity test and threatened to divorce OP if she didn’t comply. But she — knowing who she slept with and how biology works — did.
When she and the baby got home from the hospital, the [possible] father went to stay with his parents for the first three weeks of the baby’s life to “get some space” from the situation. Who cares if his wife has a newborn to take care of and is recovering from giving birth? Let’s not forget she might be an adultress! Thankfully, her sister was there to help take care of OP and the baby.
“My MIL called and informed me that if the paternity test revealed that the child wasn’t his, she would do anything within her power to make sure that I was ‘taken to the cleaners’ during the divorce,” OP added — as if a meddling mother-in-law needed to be thrown into the mix!
The Results
The results came in, and OP’s husband valiantly came home from his parents’ house to review the results with his wife.
“They showed that he was the father and my husband had this shocked, kinda mortified look on his face with his eyes wide as he stared at it,” she said.
To recap, he thought the blonde-haired blue-eyed baby wasn’t his so he left his wife and the baby who is his to go mope with his parents. And now he’s finding out that she is his daughter.
“I couldn’t help but say, ‘I told you so,’ and started laughing at the way he looked,” OP wrote.
Which is astounding because you better believe we wouldn’t be nice enough to laugh and give a simple “I told you so.” Is she just the most understanding, laid-back person ever? Well, we’ll get more into that.
“My husband snapped out of his shock, and got mad at me for laughing at him. We argued for a bit, which was mainly him yelling at me before my sister came downstairs and my husband shut up.”
OK. So. To get this straight: First, she’s the villain for having an affair? (Which she didn’t have.) And now she’s the villain for laughing when she was proven right? So whether she lies or tells the truth, she’s the a—hole in this man’s eyes? Great. Got it.
Monster-in-Law’s Involvement
After reading the results, OP’s husband went back to his parents’ house to “clear his head.” And as if the “take you to the cleaners” comment wasn’t enough, the mother-in-law and Grandma of the Year (don’t forget she lost time with her granddaughter!) called OP again.
“[She scolded] me about laughing in my husband’s face, because apparently it was kicking him while he was down,” OP said. “She’s also left a couple nasty texts essentially saying the same thing this morning.”
Reddit’s Reaction
WHAT?! What, what, what?! More than 33.5K people have upvoted this batsh*t crazy and wildly offensive fiasco because, again, WHAT?!
Plain and simple, like one Redditor said, “You are so not the f*cking AH. Not even in the tiniest way.”
“3 weeks is a long time … to just abandon your significant other especially one that just birthed your child. What a piece of sh*t that guy is.”
“I feel like his own mother should have been able to set him straight even or talk him into calming down and not doing anything rash (like ditching your wife and newborn child) until a test could be done. But instead she just encouraged the drama. And now they’re both mad because they both look like idiots”
“I’d group message dear MIL and husband and say that. ‘Your son abandoned me for 3 weeks postpartum, leaving me alone to care for OUR newborn while still healing because apparently none of you ever learned how biology works … and now that it’s been proven how very wrong you both were both in your assumptions and your treatment of me, you have the audacity to get upset with ME … for laughing? That’s the real joke. The appropriate response at the bare would be a groveling apology and instead you are both doubling down? Enjoy not being involved in my daughter’s life. Keep your son. We will see you who’s going to the cleaners now.’”
“If they do divorce, I’ll bet the husband and MIL fight tooth and nail for custody and cry when they don’t get it. MIL still has a baby anyway.”
“I don’t normally jump to the leave him and divorce him tangent, but in this case, it’s the first thing I thought. OP needs to get a lawyer and file ASAP, then pack all his stuff and put it in the yard. Call his mom and tell her that she can have her son back permanently.”
“I don’t think I could ever forgive my husband for that. I feel like OP is too relaxed about this. Like HOW do you even ask if Y.T.A. when he HAS THE AUDACITY to not even apologize, but DOUBLES DOWN and yells at her.”
That’s such a fair reaction (that even we had at one point!), but as many people said, it becomes all too easy for people in abusive relationships to rationalize the abuse. Because Redditors agree there’s no way this is a first-of-its-kind situation. They’d bet money that the husband has been abusive their entire relationship.
“A lot of people don’t understand that severe abuse isn’t just physical, it’s a mental and emotional thing that doesn’t start out as screaming and yelling and putting you down. It’s a little things here and there, little comments, little sayings that get into your head like … You become the bad guy in your head, because of what they’ve been saying to you for so long. That’s why she came here to ask if she was the a—hole … It’s why she’s used to him running off to mommy’s house, it’s why she didn’t immediately text back something just nasty to the mother-in-law. It’s why he felt comfortable yelling at her instead of apologizing.
“And scolding op for kicking him while he’s down? How is he down? The child is his and he hasn’t even shown any interest in his beautiful little baby but instead accused her of sleeping with someone else, forced her into a paternity test, then ran back to mommy? He is AWFUL … I would insist on a divorce unless he signs a lawyer’s letter to cut complete contact with his mother and make a public and massive apology to never do anything like this again. But honestly IMO, this relationship was over the second he insisted on a paternity test and ran to mommy dearest. How dare he?”
“In my life people send out Christmas cards to everyone for yearly announcement of life events and stuff. I’d have so much fun creating a card showing off the new baby and then frame MIL’s texts so everyone knows why a divorce was coming in the future.”
We wish there wasn’t a reason for this, but yes, we can totally get behind that. Christmas cards with a hint of tea? Yes please.
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