Pretty much every time we see mother-in-law drama on Reddit, it involves them being too controlling. But none of them hold a candle to this latest MIL who (spoiler alert) threw herself a baby shower for her impending grandchild. Yes, the grandma-to-be wanted her own party — and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
It’s giving similar vibes to the mother-in-law who, back in May 2023, insisted that her grandbaby call her “Mama.” The 50-year-old had an “irrational fear of getting old,” and so any variation of “granny” was a no-go. When the parents-to-be shot this suggestion down — because WTAF?! — she just continued to use it with her grandson behind their backs.
A mom shares her story on Reddit of dealing with an overbearing MIL who disagrees with her decision to potty train her 3-year-old early. https://t.co/1O39LkS9Yo
— SheKnows (@SheKnows) January 2, 2024
“This sounds a little bit nutsy, in addition to being completely inappropriate — particularly because you’ve told her it doesn’t work for you,” one Redditor said. “It is, in fact, ‘your place’ to dictate a number of things about how your child/children will be raised, including the frequency with which they will see her. That may be something you need to point out to your in-laws in case they are considering further boundary-stomping attempts.”
Yesterday, a mom-to-be posted on the “Am I The A—hole? (AITA?)” subreddit to share that she and her husband are expecting their first child (congrats!) and vent about her own MIL drama.
How It Started
This MIL has been overstepping since day one, consistently calling the baby “her” baby. The woman who originally posted (the “OP”) said she’ll say things like, “I can’t wait for my baby to be born” and, “My baby is going to be so loved.”
“This rubs me the wrong way for reasons I cannot explain, but my husband tells me to ignore her,” OP said.
This MIL wanted to throw her a baby shower where her own friends were invited. OP said her MIL and the MIL’s friends “made an agreement” that they would celebrate each other’s kids’ weddings and pregnancies. This didn’t happen for OP’s wedding since she and her husband eloped.
“My MIL told me that I owed it to her to let her throw the baby shower since I hurt her friends’ feelings by not having wedding reception,” OP said. “I asked if I could invite my friends, and she said no, that this was for her friends, and that if my friends wanted to throw me a shower they could.”
So reluctantly, OP agreed.
The Preparations
OP and her husband spent hours building a baby registry for his mom’s friends, just like she requested. MIL also asked what design OP wanted on the desserts: “I told her flowers because I am decorating the nursery in a garden theme.”
The Day Of
On the Big Day, OP was given a “mother to be” sash. Which is so cute! Her MIL was given a “granny to be” sash which is less common and sort of weird given her track record.
But it only got weirder. OP realized the baby shower theme was circus animals. The cake had an elephant and balloons on it and the cookies were animals.
“At first I thought that maybe the floral theme was just too difficult, so I rolled with it until it was time to open presents,” OP said.
Every present — all the onesies, blankets, and toys — was related to circus animals. Nothing matched her registry.
“I was a little confused and even went so far to check my registry to make sure I hadn’t goofed up and changed everything,” OP said. “I thanked everyone for their gifts and tried to sound as gracious as possible, but I was so confused.”
The Truth
OP’s husband — “who is a little less tactful” — arrived later and immediately asked about the theme.
“He looks at the presents and says, ‘This isn’t what we asked for.’ Then he looked at his mom and goes ‘MOM. What did you do?'”
“She smiled and said, ‘I didn’t like the theme you chose for my baby. I’m going to decorate my baby’s nursery at my house with circus animals, so I created a registry for myself.'”
Just like us, OP’s husband said, “YOU DID WHAT?”
His mom doubled down saying,”My baby is going to need a room at my house so I threw a shower for myself.”
The Fight
That’s when OP “lost her composure.”
“I told her that she would not see MY baby and to stop calling the baby hers, and my husband told his mom that she’s delusional if she thinks we’re going to allow this.”
Then came the waterworks. MIL started crying, claiming her son and DIL were “withholding her baby from her.” Now the parents-to-be are getting texts from family members calling them “selfish” and “ungrateful” and that they “ruined her joy of being a grandma.”
So now OP wants to know, were she and her husband a—holes?
Reddit’s Reaction
Redditors unanimously agree that OP and her husband are not a—holes. His mother is not only seriously wrong, but they’re convinced she could be seriously dangerous.
“Make sure if she has keys to your home locks are changed,” said the top comment with 14.7K upvotes. “Make sure you invest in security cameras. Let the hospital know your MIL is to be nowhere near your baby. Let them know you and your husband are the only two that fill out any paperwork … Document every creepy thing she does … Your mil is unhinged and this has hands that rock the cradle vibes.”
“Provide a password for daycare the way you will for when she’s older and at school. All the daycare workers should know it and if anyone – THIS MEANS ANYONE – other than you or her dad tries to pick her up, they must know the password. Your MIL sounds looney tunes and I’d be scared to death.”
“My daycare and kids’ school has an emergency contact and approved pick up list. The only way anyone is getting my kids is if that name is on the list and they have ID proving it’s them. The doors are passcode locked so the only way anyone can get in is with the passcode or staff let them in. Don’t rely on passwords for your kid’s safety. Do the leg work and find safe schooling.”
“Quite frankly, my instinct would be to go no contact. After the baby is born, IF MIL has behaved herself, give her a list of rules (including no photos), limits and boundaries and allow short, supervised visits. I just can’t with these bizarre women who think their DILs are incubators for ‘their’ babies. Very, very ick.”
“Reading OP’s story gave me the willies. That’s a horror movie treatment if I ever read one. NTA Seriously, OP, take the above advice/precautions seriously and implement them.”
“This is creepy af. Keep your child away from this lunatic.”
“There’s actually at least one episode of Forensic Files where the MIL loses her ever-loving shit because she wants to keep the grandbaby. I mean I tend to assume these posts are just gonna be crazy family drama, but it has happened where at least one of ‘em really just lost it. At least OP’s husband is on her side in this.”
“When I read it I LEGIT kept hearing Keith Morrison’s Dateline voice in my head, ‘She had the perfect nursery, the perfect toys picked out, and she SEEMED like the PERFECT grandmother to be …’”
All we can do now is hope that Redditors are seriously wrong.
Leave a Comment