When you think of fighting over lunch or snack money, you imagine children from some cheesy sitcom where the Big Bad Bully roughs up the loveable nerd to get a couple of bucks for candy. You don’t think of two grown women — much less grown mothers. But alas, the dumpster fire that is the “Am I The A—hole? (AITA?)” subreddit proved, yet again, that people are trash.
A mom posted yesterday to talk about what went down at her daughter’s latest playdate. The post has since amassed more than 5.1K upvotes, 5.8K comments, and 27.6K upvotes on the top comment. That’s a lot of engagement with an originally-TBD AH!
This woman who originally posted (the “OP” in Reddit lingo) has an 11-year-old daughter, Ellie, who has a 12-year-old best friend, Sophie.
“Both of the girls have special needs and are around 6 years old mentally,” the OP said.
It’s not immediately clear why that’s relevant in the story — beyond, perhaps, that you would think these mom friends have an even closer bond than most. Except, that bond didn’t seem to matter much to one of them when it came down to it. You would think the value of a mom friend is priceless, but, alas, it turns out it’s less than $2.
Scene Of The Crime
OP got a call from Sophie’s mom the other day saying they were at an indoor playground and that Sophie wanted Ellie to join them. Since Sophie’s mom buys visits in bulk (it’s cheaper that way), she offered to let OP and Ellie use her punch card. They headed over to the gym and got in for free thanks to Sophie’s mom.
Snack Standoff
When they girls started to get hungry and wanted a snack, it turned out Sophie’s mom didn’t bring any. OP told her they sell snacks in the front but the mom said she didn’t have any money with her and asked if OP could buy some Goldfish for Sophie.
“I said sure, Venmo me and I’ll grab some,” OP wrote.
OP must have been met with the same shocked look that was on our faces when we read that because she then told Sophie’s mom that she “took care of [her own] kid and it’s not [her] job to take care of [Sophie] too.”
“She says she paid for my kid to get in so I could cover the $2 for the Goldfish,” OP wrote. “I told her if she wanted me to bring snacks, she should’ve told me when she invited me but I won’t be wasting $2 for a $.50 bag of goldfish because she was unprepared.”
Jaw, meet floor.
Then What?
Sophie’s mom went to the snack stand — “I don’t know if she lied about not having money” — and came back with Goldfish and fruit snacks for her daughter.
“Now she’s being petty by asking me to pay her back for all of the times we’ve used their memberships and guest passes so we’re not getting along,” OP said, much to the approval of the internet.
“I’m going to have to see her at school drop off/pickup, ballet class, gymnastics class, and the girls weekly play dates so I wanted to know if I was the a—hole for not buying her kid a snack.” And don’t you worry, Reddit was quickly ready with their verdict.
Reddit’s Reaction
Reddit truly does not understand where OP’s brain was at. In what wold would she not share with a kid? A kid who just so happens to be her daughter’s BFF. A kid whose mom got both OP and her daughter into a fun play gym for free.
“YTA,” stated the top comment with (again) 27.6K upvotes. “You were invited to a place for free that you would otherwise have had to pay for. You only packed snacks for your child? Why? Why didn’t you also take snacks for the other child? … if I was meeting someone for a playdate for my child, not paying to get in, knowing, at some point both girls were going to be hungry, I would have packed snacks for both, as a thank you for the invitation and just because …You accept the generosity, but do not reciprocate in any way? … So due to a pack of Goldfish, because of you, your daughter might not see so many invites to playdates any longer.”
That. That.
“The other mom is not an AH. People make mistakes and oversights. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to turn the car around halfway through a trip because we’ve forgotten something. Luckily, we have FRIENDS who would gladly help out if we forgot something our baby girl needs.”
“As a mom, I’m constantly helping other moms with whatever they need: snacks, wipes, bandaids, water, sunscreen. Not just my friends but random folks at the park too. And folks are always helping me out. It’s hard enough raising a kid, we can’t shut each other out. It always comes back around.”
Yes! Exactly! And so, as one commenter said, Sophie’s mom must have been “shocked” when that wasn’t her experience with — again — the mom of her daughter’s best. friend.
“Hell, we pack extra snacks for the adults too. I know some of my friends who meet up with us for things with the kids will appreciate some extra peanut butter crackers or whatever.”
“I don’t have kids but I almost always have a couple of snacks on me just in case I, or someone I’m with, or their kid, gets hungry. We have to take care of each other in this dumpster fire!”
Then moms started sharing stories of lifting each other up, and we started to remember that, OK, maybe it’s not all a dumpster fire.
“As a mum that one time didn’t have wipes (the pack was in the change bag and empty! 😱😱😱) and was given wipes but a random other mum I did not know – thank you thank you thank you.”
“I once had to rush to the pharmacy, sick baby and all, and the second I got the meds I realized I didn’t have any way to coax my kid to take them. A random mom came and handed me a juice box, just like that. Seriously, fellow moms/ people have saved me so often.”
“I was with my infant at the Chicago airport alone. I took her out of the carrier to breastfeed and change her. I was anxious with how busy it was and getting to the terminal, and was fumbling with the straps. Without a second thought, another mom came over and helped me get her strapped onto my back. I’ve had mom’s help without question so many times … Now that they’re older I’m the one who gets to help when a tired mom just wants to sit down and eat. Let me bounce that baby for you, mama.”
“I’ve been on both sides of [experiences like this]. There’s no reason NOT to take care of each other and every reason to do it.”
LOUDER FOR THE STINGY MOMS IN THE BACK!
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