Yes, you [unfortunately] read that correctly. A man joined the “Am I The A—hole? (AITA?)” subreddit to try and get some advice about the current situation with his wife and his son. He and his wife have been married for 15 years, and they have a 12-year-old son. This man who originally posted (the “OP” in Reddit lingo) said he really loves his wife.
“I adore and idolize her,” he wrote. “Seriously, she is the best thing that has ever happened in my life. I think I am willing to give my life for her and her happiness.”
He said they have always lived a “really happy life,” free of arguments are misunderstandings. But, he conceded, there was indeed one “incident.” It’s an oddly nonchalant choice of words, but that’s the least of this post’s problems. When their son was 8, his wife had an “affair partner” or “AP” whom OP didn’t know about.
“Their relationship continued until last year when our son turned 11,” OP said. “That’s when my son told me about this [piece of sh*t]. My wife was taking him home to her AP and our son saw their relationship but was afraid to tell me for three years.”
That is a major revelation and a major secret this young boy felt the need to keep. We can’t even imagine what he was going through! Now OP is asking, “AITA for telling my son that his mom’s personal life is none of his business?”
What Next?
OP said it’s been a “tough year” since then.
“First I dealt with this a—hole,” he said, making us roll our eyes, “then my wife and I had a long talk with each other and figured out what brought us to this situation.”
They then decided to move to another city — away from the affair partner — and start over. OP said they are finally living a happy life again. “I just my wife and I will never leave her,” he said, and we’re guessing he meant to throw “love” in there. Freudian exclusion?
Tipping Point
Things came to a head yesterday after one of the son’s teachers complained to OP’s wife about his behavior. OP’s son “snapped and defended himself” after his mom started to “reprimand” him.
“Finally, my wife couldn’t stand it and told him that he should go to his room immediately,” OP wrote. “My son snapped back: ‘Command your [AP].'”
OP’s Reaction
“Rage immediately boiled up in me and I told our son that his mom was right and he should go to his room immediately,” OP said.
He took away his son’s PlayStation, phone, and pocket money. “I told him that his mom’s personal life was none of his business and who was he to judge his mom. I’m a husband and I have to deal with these things. Not a 12-year-old boy.”
Reddit’s Reaction
Reddit fully agrees that OP is the a—hole … and his son deserves so much better.
“So your wife made your son an accomplice to her affair and he’s had to deal with that for 3 years. And now because you want to forget that your wife cheated on you for 3 years and took your son to [AP’s] house while doing it, your child also has to just ‘get over it.’ Your child does not respect his mother, that is the consequence of HER actions. Your son does not respect you, that is the consequence of your reaction to everything. You’re punishing your son for reacting to the mess YOU as his parents made,” said the top comment with 10.5K upvotes.
“And this affair totally changed the kid’s life because he had to move, change schools, lose his friends, etc. OP, you’re trying to create this very false narrative that your wife is perfect and worth worshipping. Your putting her on a pedestal and refusing to take her down off it DESPITE HER HAVING A MULTI-YEAR RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER MAN is ludicrous.”
“All of the therapy. For everyone.”
“Children do not forget these things. Ever. My father was a serial cheater who moved us halfway across the country so he wouldn’t be ‘tempted’ too. Of course, he cheated again six months later which was the final nail that destroyed our family … I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a new AP and OP isn’t sharp enough to pick up what his son is implying.”
“And involving an 8-year-old in the deception. That to me would be the breaking point. This poor child felt they had to keep quiet for 3 years. No wonder he is acting out. I’d put all my effort into maintaining a relationship with my child as your wife obviously doesn’t respect you.”
“Imagine how lonely and confused that poor kid must have felt, keeping her secrets. It’s heartbreaking.”
Lonely, confused, heartbroken, and now punished. Way to make it infinitely worse, OP.
Leave a Comment