There are plenty of great things about working from home — just like there are great things about working in an office (aw, offices, we miss you!). At home, for example, you get easy access to the kitchen, you don’t spend money on lunch out, you can multitask on household tasks like dishes and laundry while you’re on a conference call, and you don’t really have to get dressed ever. And of course, for parents, WFH can be great because it gives you more flexibility in terms of juggling work and childcare — or so you’d think. But anyone who has ever actually tried to work from home, with children and without childcare, knows it’s pretty much next to impossible. You can’t focus, you don’t have time to get anything done in between kids’ demands for snacks/stories/toys/help, and chances are, your entire laptop will end up covered in milk or at least drool.
That’s not the case, of course, in all those lovely stock photos out there of moms working at home — in their very clean homes alongside their very clean, calm children. Those stock pics tend to be questionable, if not 100% unrealistic. From babies who happily play in the corner all day while Mom toils away on her computer to toddlers sitting on Mom’s lap during a conference call, you can rest assured that being a real-life WFH parent does not often go this smoothly.
Here are some of our favorite unrealistic stock pics of moms “working” from home with their kids in tow. If only life were as easy as a stock photo.
A version of this story was originally published in November 2015.
Business partners
“No, ma’am, it’s fine. I let my 9-month-old send all of my emails. Except for that time she sent “TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT” to our client in Shanghai, we’ve never had a problem… No, they didn’t renew their contract.”
“My kids play quietly in the other room” mom
“No, I don’t need a babysitter when I’m working from home with my kids. They just quietly draw in the other room while I toil away on my computer, occasionally coming in to show me what they’ve created. They don’t even ask to eat!” Said no work-from-home mom ever.
“I’m sorry, WHAT?!”
“Sorry, Boss, I can’t hear you, my baby is screaming in my ear!!! Oh, you want that TPS report?! I think he just ripped it up!”
Sad mom with happy kids in very clean kitchen
“I used to eat lunch in a break room and talk about last night’s Real Housewives episode with other adults around the water cooler. Now I’m perched on a bench as kids sing ‘Let It Go’ at the top of their lungs. What happened to my life?”
The only baby not attracted to computers
“The only thing better than working with my baby on my lap? The fact that I just woke up from a comfy couch nap!”
Noisy toys
“You were right, Mom! I totally regret buying all of these goddamned noisy toys. I thought they’d be stimulating, all right?!“
Nothing weird in this spotless yet crayon-strewn room
“My boss has no idea that I’m naked from the waist down.”
Business casual
“Do you think my baby thinks it’s weird that I put on a business suit each day even though I work from my kitchen table?”
A midday snack
“Little Sally has been refusing the breast lately, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it has to do with the fact that she’s started eating expense reports.”
Just some background noise
“Mom said we couldn’t watch TV, but she never said anything about grabbing each other’s throats on this perfectly spotless rug!”
Dumbfounded
No, this woman isn’t stressed out. She’s amazed that her child has managed to amuse himself for five hours in an all-white room with no toys.
Huh?
“Wanna know a secret? I’m actually playing Bejeweled Blitz! Wanna know another one? I have no idea who either of these kids is.”
Poor baby
This poor kid has been up for an hour, but her mom has no idea.
Yikes!
This child was just playing with his own feces, but whaddaya gonna do? Gotta get that email out!
Danger?
This daring mom-and-baby duo have added a new layer to their dangerous work-from-home act: Letting baby sit on a desk AND chew on a phone cord.
“Uh… Jennifer?”
“Yes, we do owe our client thousands of dollars! Yes, we do! Yes, we do!!”
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