Emojis are quickly replacing text as the way we communicate with friends, but have you ever noticed the pregnancy and family emojis are kind of lacking? We can text our playgroup glasses of wine and flip our husbands off when they leave the toilet seat up, but what about sharing our morning sickness, sore boobs or how much we really freaking need to pee? That’s where EmojiMom comes in. It’s a brand-new phone app, developed by three real-life moms, with a keyboard of more than 250 emojis that include everything from C-section scars to antidepressants to babies escaping from their cribs. Here are 15 of the funniest emojis that get real about pregnancy and motherhood.
When pregnancy is a real pain
Pregnancy is a wondrous thing, but it’s also a real pain in the, well, everything. Back pain, sciatic nerve pain, restless legs, achy boobs, those random stabby pains in your cervix that no one ever warned you about — seriously, guys, what the hell? It’s about time we had emojis to express our 42-week-long agony. Combine this one with the ice cream emoji, and your partner will have no choice but to get up and go straight to the store for some Rocky Road.
When you’re trying to have a #FitPregnancy
Downward-facing Dog is a little more complicated when you’ve got a boulder on your torso, but that doesn’t mean you should quit your yoga practice, right? You are a maternal goddess. You are Zen as fuck. You are… probably stuck, so use this emoji to text for help.
When the baby kicks get too intense
It’s an earthquake! It’s an alien! Nope, it’s actually just your baby jazzercising in your uterus and using your kidneys as drums. Kicks may start out as gentle flutters, but by the third trimester, it feels like that baby is trying to Mortal Kombat its way out, and this emoji knows exactly what’s up.
When your bump is growing fruits and vegetables
Ah, the famous fruit analogies — your baby is the size of a kiwi, your baby is as long as a banana. They may not be the most accurate descriptions of your little bundle of joy, but at least with these emojis you can post your bump updates on Instagram without even having to consult What to Expect When You’re Expecting to see which produce item your fetus most resembles this week.
When your body pillow becomes your bae
Remember when you used to cuddle with your partner at night? Yeah, well, your body pillow is the love of your life now. Whether you’re having hip pain or the kind of heartburn that feels like you could breathe actual dragon fire, the body pillow can help. And if it takes up the whole bed and your partner has to sleep on the couch? Too bad. You’re creating life. You need your beauty sleep.
When you have to give up your faves
Wouldn’t you kill for a spicy tuna roll right now? Well, sorry, you can’t have one. Or soft cheese. Or a stiff drink. Pregnancy is such a buzzkill sometimes.
When you’re about to lose it
That’s right: Don’t mess with the pregnant lady. Don’t touch our bellies without permission. Don’t ask us if our coffee is decaf. We’re already uncomfortable, hormonal, nauseated and possibly leaking breast milk. Just do what we say, OK?
When you don’t know what to put on your registry
Preparing for a baby is all about the essentials, and that includes asking your bestie which kind of nipple cream you should buy. Or texting her at 3 a.m. to buy you an emergency tube of it when you run out and your nipples are screaming. Either way, where has this nipple cream emoji been all our lives?
When you’re two weeks past due
The first rule of pregnancy is that a due date is just a suggestion. The second rule of pregnancy is that everyone you know will start texting to ask if you’re in labor yet the second your due date arrives. It’s annoying as hell, but at least this emoji will save you some time in replies when you’re mom starts texting you 37 times a day.
When you need to give a quick cervix update
Think no one cares about the state of your cervix? Think again. The second you go into labor, your cervix will become the star of the show. At least this emoji helps make your cervix updates seem sort of cute.
When labor gets real
There are no sweeter words to a laboring mom than “it’s time to push.” Of course, texting those words takes a lot of effort, so maybe just have your partner group text this one to everyone you know while you grunt and gasp and bring a new life into the world.
When you’re rocking mesh panties
Mesh panties and giant maxi pads are a rite of passage for new moms. No one wants a hospital gown selfie, but you can still bond over the joy of your huge panties thanks to this little emoji that makes them seem downright adorable.
When maternity leave is over
All good things come to an end, and that includes maternity leave (if you were lucky enough to get leave at all). You might love your job, or you might wish you could move to a tiny cottage in the woods and just sniff your newborn’s head forevermore. Either way, this emoji is feeling your mixed emotions.
When you’ve got no place to pump
Pumping in the bathroom, break room, on the airplane and in your car? You’re not alone. Maybe we all should start texting this one to our congressmen and congresswomen so they finally make some mom-friendly policies for the workplace, eh?
When you’re experiencing the joys of motherhood
Once pregnancy is over and you’ve arrived home from the hospital, the party really gets going. Motherhood is magical, but it’s also messy, exhausting, stressful and full of surprises, and it’s an experience that simply demands to be shared in a million text messages with your very best friends.
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