Before giving birth to my son this June, I was the doting mother to a 4-year-old fur baby. Our pet Maltipoo, Remy, was about as spoiled as a Kardashian spawn with enough toys to overflow generously sized storage baskets — not only in our home, but also at my parents’ place.
And yet, as actual-baby paraphernalia started infiltrating our apartment in preparation for our child-to-be, we noticed Remy gaze upon these objects with the unbridled desire of a kid in a candy shop. “Oh look! He thinks the Boppy Newborn Lounger is an ergonomically designed dog bed,” we chuckled as Remy promptly nestled himself into the infant pillow. His yearning was only amplified when it came to the toys, many of which looked like they came from PetCo rather than Buy Buy Baby.
Fast-forward three months later, and I’m routinely running interference on my son’s playthings — particularly the eight items in the gallery ahead, which have proven extra alluring to canines (or at least to this one). Moral of the story: If you’re a dog-owning expectant parent, maybe think twice before bringing these baby toys into your home. Or just buy two and remind yourself that those shared germs are doing wonders for your baby’s health.
Sophie the Giraffe
This ubiquitous teething toy is meant for young mouths, but you’ll find yourself constantly prying it out of the canine variety: Not only is it rubber (deliciously chewy!), but it also squeaks, invoking a dog’s primal instinct to attack and destroy. (Target, $24.99)
Soft balls
While babies will delight in grasping any one of these crinkly, soft shapes, your dog is guaranteed to make a beeline for the ball, which looks especially attractive for a game of fetch. A little something for everyone, we suppose. (The Manhattan Toy Company Wimmer Ferguson Mind-Shapes, Fat Brain Toys, $19.95)
Knit toys
Combine gentle sound effects with a soft mouthfeel, and you have a recipe for doggie destruction. The fact that this particular toy resembles human food only adds insult to injury. (Pebble Chocolate Donut Rattle, at The Little Market, $12)
Plush animals
No stuffed animal will go unscathed, but the super-soft, fluffy ones are especially at risk. Keep them tucked up high on a shelf or be prepared to constantly find them dragged into the middle of your nursery. (Just Born Cuddleplush Elephant, at Just Born, $19.99)
WubbaNubs
Sure, these pacifiers aren’t technically a toy, but the small stuffed animals attached to the end of a soothie prove irresistible to tiny hands and slobbery mouths. (Buy Buy Baby, $13.99)
Loveys
You know that beat-up “baby” your pup carries around that’s been shredded to within 1 inch of its life? He’ll quickly trade that for your infant’s own security blanket, which to be fair does kind of resemble a stuffed animal that’s had its stuffing ripped from its core. (Bunnies by the Bay Bao Bao Bear Buddy Blanket, Bunnies by the Bay, $29.95)
Rolling rattles
It’s a ball! It’s a rattle! It’s…definitely getting punted around your living room by your dog as your baby watches on in despondent confusion. (Skip Hop Explore & More Roll-Around Hedgehog Rattle, Skip Hop, $8)
Stroller toys
Baby will love batting at these dangling melodic stuffed toys that fasten onto car seat handles and stroller bars — that is, if they haven’t mysteriously disappeared and ended up buried at the bottom of your dog’s bed. (Eric Carle Caterpillar/Elephant Chime Set Infant Toy, Toys R Us, $8.99)
Leave a Comment