Teens, Screens & Social Media: Can Kids Log Off In an Online World? We Asked Them

If you have a dog-eared copy of The Anxious Generation on your nightstand … if your version of a lullaby is asking — no, begging — “no phones after 9 pm!” … if “screenager” is a term that could apply to one or more of your dependents … then this article is for you. 

World Teen Mental Wellness Day is on March 2, which is also the first day of Teen Tech Week. No surprise there, as the correlation between teen mental health and technology is well-documented (read: scientists have confirmed what every parent already knows — too much screen time can have a serious negative effect on mental health). 

We know scientists are concerned about teens’ use of their screens. We know how parents are concerned about it. But what about the teens themselves? How much time do they really spend on their phones? Are they happy with that? Do they wish it could change? Can it?

I asked them.

On a February afternoon in New York City, I talked to a handful of teens about their phones — and how they feel about those “smart” devices. On the question of how many hours teens spend a day on their phones, results varied.

Ben, 16, told me 10 hours. Annabella, also 16, said 12. Fifteen-year-old Mateo estimated 3 or 4 hours. Same with Sreethi, 18. Angelina, 17, told me, “I don’t get off my phone at all.” Annie, also 17, reported 2 hours of screen time a day on weekdays, and 4 on weekends.

But regardless of the varied responses to that question, when I followed up with, “Are you happy with this number?” the answer revealed a consensus: No.

Preeti, 18, who “lost count” of how many hours a day she spends on her phone, told me it’s “too much.” Annie said she’s “embarrassed” about her number: “I wanna cut it down … I could be doing better things. It’s not good for me.” Mateo responded, “I lowkey wanna get it down; being on your phone isn’t, like, the most productive way to spend my time.”

Not only is excessive screen time ‘unproductive’ but it can be actively harmful to a teen’s self-image (something SheKnows found when it surveyed a group of teen boys last summer as part of its ‘Be a Man’ project: 41 percent of respondents said they feel social media negatively affected their self-esteem.) When I asked, “To what extent do you think social media has an effect on mental health?” one word stood out in all of the responses: comparison.

“I think it has a huge effect, especially the comparison,” Ben told me. Kai, 15, agreed. “You start to compare yourself to other people,” he said. “It kind of ruins your own self-image … it makes you wanna be like other people, and you lose individuality.”

These teens know the negative effects of screen time, but across the board, they’re spending more hours a day on their phones than many would like. Why?

Well, they’re addicted. 

“My friends are on it [their phones], I feel like I couldn’t get off it or certain apps, I don’t know — I’m just, like, addicted,” Annabella admitted. When I asked Preeti if she could survive without her phone, she giggled and responded, “Not at all. I need my phone.” She’s tried to delete TikTok, but says, “It’s so hard! It’s tempting to always download it back.” Sreethi concurred: “I agree, I cannot live without TikTok.” 

In the past, I would have thought these teens were being hyperbolic. Of course they can survive without TikTok! However, not only is the algorithm literally engineered to capitalize on users’ brain chemistry, but screen time has become systematized in the lives of teens. 

The teens I talked to told me they turn to their phones when they need homework help. They open Snapchat when they want to talk with their friends. Of course, they could survive without a phone in the sense that they could eat and breathe. But to quit their phones would mean removing themselves from the networks of support and communication that their peers are on. It would represent a disadvantage, a self-imposed isolation. 

A simple solution would be for schools to ban phones during the day — a policy that’s growing in popularity. But the teens I talked to were not entirely on board with the idea. Preeti and Mateo, who both want to reduce their screen time, object to the practice of schools banning phones, citing emergencies. Kai told me that teens need access to their phones during school hours because “sometimes at school, something could happen and you need to call your parents.” 

So, it’s a paradox. For teens, spending too much time on screens is isolating because it decreases person-to-person interaction. But spending too little time on screens is also isolating because it removes teens from the networks that connect them to their peers — and there’s a clear nervousness about not having access to a phone when you (might) need it. 

It’s easy to become discouraged during conversations about teens, screens, and mental health. Algorithms, addiction, comparison … none of it’s great. But there’s reason for hope: The teens I spoke with about all of these topics were smart and incredibly thoughtful. They’ve done the challenging work of realizing that their phones — which they don’t know life without — can do more harm than good. Now, it’s up to the adults to create ways for teens to log off, while still staying connected.